I am Aphrodite

How are you? ask friends. I’m riding the waves, has become my auto-reply.

I ride the waves.

Afraid to be submerged by the ocean of my unconscious.

To allow the painful oscillations of feelings. That I’m a burden, that there’s something inherently wrong with me, that I’m a failure.

The deep sense of grief, the shame.

The utter gutting wrenching longing.

That my heart will break into a million pieces. And death will be eminent.

But this time I am not called to ride the waves.

I am invited to plunge into the waters of what once felt frightening and to trust that what will emerge is a deeper, intimate love and beauty that I know to be my birthright.

Holy waters, wash over me so that I may emerge as Aphrodite from the froth of crashing waves.

With Deep Love + Reverence,

Billy

Illustration by Billy Lourakis